Writing prompt: Ten reasons why you shouldn’t shower for a week.
1.
Because not enough know not to talk to me
because my potty mouth doesn’t stink enough sometimes for stupid fucking people to keep away
2.
Because no one loves me as much as I love me
and there’s nothing better than my foul odor to remind me of how great I am
3.
Because turning the warm shower water off is the worst part of anything relating to hygiene
shaving my balls at least causes smoothness, leaving the shower just makes me hate life.
4.
To avoid the pathetic naked curled and held motion of going from dry to wet
because you never get the water temperature right off the bat.
5.
Because no one’s invented a bath that doesn’t require you to dip your asshole in the too-hot water within the first three motions.
6.
Because letting hot bath water cool down takes too fucking long
7.
Because sitting in a giant toilet of your own sweat, dirt, and dead skin sounds like an R rated Shrek movie.
8.
Because I could walk around longer with your kiss still all over my neck
9.
Because I might be able to sniff out your perfume from my worn clothes
10.
Because I’d walk around proud with your cum still all over my dick and hips
I’m just like that
I like to wear as much time as possible on my skin
I let it drag below my eyes and turn pale skin into something dirty
something that looks awry
I let my hands look worn to compensate for how little I truly use them
I let my arms pollute and choke the angel and devil on my shoulder
I am fucking gross
I didn’t need to invent ten reasons not to do this.
